How to Support a Friend with Breast Cancer

Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis is shocking and disrupts a woman’s life in countless ways. But it shouldn’t change her friendships. “If anything, going through this life-changing journey should make the bonds between friends even stronger,” says Madhuri Yemul, MD, a primary care physician with UChicago Medicine AdventHealth Medical Group in Bolingbrook.
If you have a friend with breast cancer, here are five ways you can help strengthen your friendship bond while helping her through a difficult time:

1. Listen: Let her freely express her fears and concerns. Resist the urge to fill any silences and to offer unsolicited advice. Your friend needs a shoulder to lean on, which isn’t the same as wanting you to solve her problems. Let her know you’ll be by her side for the long haul, not just in the early stages, and that she can trust you when she’d like to keep information and her thoughts and feelings private.
2. Offer Specific Ways to Help: Dr. Yemul says, “The classic response to people in crisis is, ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ but that open-ended statement isn’t very helpful.” Instead, try offering to help with specific tasks, such as:
   • Buying groceries
   • Cleaning the house or doing yard work
   • Driving kids to activities
   • Organizing meals
   • Pet care
   • Picking up prescriptions

   • Talk to your friend’s caregiver or spouse for input on more ways you can be of help. Cancer treatment is a journey the whole family takes on together.

3. Give Her Thoughtful Gifts and Cards: Little gifts or notes go a long way toward brightening someone’s day. Here are some ideas:
   • Care packages: “When undergoing treatment, include items like lip balm, tissues, lotion and hard candy to relieve a dry mouth or lessen the metallic taste from medication,” suggests Dr. Yemul.
   • Gift cards so she can shop from the comfort of her home
   • Magazines, books, a journal and notebooks with pockets to help her keep track of information
   • Colorful and fun socks, scarves, hat, pajamas and robes to keep her comfortable

   • Pictures of friends and cute water bottles

4. Be a “Chemo” Buddy: Driving her to and from, as well as video chatting with her during chemotherapy or radiation therapy treatments is a huge support. Your friend will appreciate the company and encouragement, and it can give her caregiver a break.

5. Video Call, Visit and Include Her in Activities: Make plans to connect with your friend on a video call or visit in person to cheer her up at home. Give her something to look forward to. Talk about something other than cancer. For example, ask for her advice on something you’re managing, and share news about work, school or the neighborhood. If she’s up to it, offer to take her for a drive, to a movie, a restaurant or on an errand. Make sure to be respectful of any safety practices she and her family have in place.

Your friendship is enough. More than any task you can carry out on your friend’s behalf, it’s your love and support she needs the most. Dr. Yemul encourages, “Helping your friend feel supported and strong through her breast cancer journey is everything she needs to succeed.”

We’re Here to Help

Dr. Madhuri Yemul sees infants, children, adolescents, adults and older adults with compassionate care. She is accepting new patients at her office located at 329 Remington Blvd., Suite 200 in Bolingbrook.

Call 630-759-4800 for more information or to schedule an appointment.